Thursday, January 6, 2011

Up the other side

Well I've been wallowing in sorrow, self-pity, fear, and confusion for two days and two nights.  Twice now I've gone to bed around 5:30-6:00 p.m. and stayed in bed until the alarm went off at 6:45 a.m. the following morning.  Even though my intake has been low, I know that excessive sleeping is a major contributing factor to both obesity and depression so today it's time to pick myself up.  At the risk of sharing too much information - I haven't even showered since Monday ... that's how down I've been.  Last night I would pretty much cry myself to sleep, wake up a few hours later and start crying all over again until I fell back to sleep.  I can't keep doing that.  I've had my pity party and depression so now I need to pick myself up by the boot straps and start getting back on track.

"Temptation" has been very supportive and loving through all of it, he's been faithfully beside me in the bed both nights, holding me while I cry and while I sleep.  Tuesday night when the bed was delivered he let the delivery guys in and then broke out the new sheets and made the bed up all nice and pretty after they left; then he made dinner.  I was going to have the maid come by this Saturday and clean the house but in light of recent events I had to fire her until further notice so I guess that means I need to clean this darn place up this weekend.  I'll just consider it bonus calories.

I still have to walk 8 miles in 3 days which means I will probably have to do at least 3 miles on two of those days.  I should have done 5 days at 2 miles per day but then the world got turned up-side down on me and everything changed.  I'm still going to try to accomplish my goal though; I will just make sure I do more to stretching before and after the walks, eat plenty of bananas and protein right after the walk, and maybe even break the 3 mile walks up into 1.5 mile installments at two different times during the same day.  Either way I made a commitment to this blog and to all of you that I wasn't going to go strong for a little while and then start crapping out and giving up and I'm not one to break my promises so it's time to dust myself off from this downhill slide, pick myself up, and start my way back up the other side.

5 glasses of water
1 cup of coffee w/creamer
1 banana
2 korean rice cakes
1 whole dill pickle
1 bunless chicken sandwich, no bacon
1 serving cole slaw
1 snicker's 90 calorie ice cream snack
Caloric Intake: 960

Treadmill: 2.64 miles @ 3.2 mph

p.s. I got so caught up in the drama of the past few days that I forgot to mention ... the new bed is AWESOME!  I've never ever ever ever ever had a new bed before ever.  I've always had hand-me-down's and gently used beds given to me from family and close friends.  I even bought a gently used bed from a mattress store once.  I can't even begin to express the difference that a new, quality bed makes.  It hasn't stopped me from waking up 5 or 6 times a night for no apparent reason but I've also spent approximately 24 of the past 72 hours in it so maybe that's just a side effect of over-resting.  Tonight I walked and did laundry and I can't wait to see how good it's going to feel tonight, especially.


  1. Whatever's going on, I hope you can find peace soon. I know it's difficult to accept the world as it is and not lay around wishing it were different or that things were better. If you can't change the world, the only thing you can change is your attitude.

    You'll get through this!

  2. Baby steps. Do as much as you can and you will be amazed at what the endorphins can do for you!