I don't do well with discussions on religion or when people ask others to say a prayer or whatever. I don't begrudge anyone the right to practice whatever religion they like as long as it doesn't involve hurting other people. But it makes me uncomfortable when someone says "I'll pray for you" because I never really know how to respond. Thank you? It's the thought that counts, I guess, right? Even if I don't actually believe that their prayers will have any bearing on what happens in my life.
Some religions pray, some light candles, some do both. Some keep someone in need in their thoughts and hearts and wish positive energy on their behalf. Even those who don't believe in any form of religion believe in showing love and compassion to their fellow man, many an atheist will toss a coin into a fountain or wish on a star because it can't hurt ... right?
We all wish the best for others; we all wish for a world without famine, war, or pain. Today I will be lighting a candle for myself in the hopes that someone, somewhere, with authority might witness it and accept the symbolism. At this moment I need peace more than anything; I need a still small voice, or a feeling deep inside, or a wash of comfort to bathe me and let me know that everything is going to be alright.
Another panic attack tonight, the worst one I've ever had; scared the hell out of "Temptation" when I lost consciousness. Another early bed time feeling sorry for myself. I wanted to walk but I couldn't find the energy to put my shoes on or tie my hair back. Upside: I don't eat when I'm depressed so intake was low enough today to make up for the lack of exercise. No guarantees for tomorrow either ... I'd much rather crawl in a hole and sleep until it all goes away.
3 glasses of water
1 cup of coffee w/creamer
1 whole wheat bagel
2 light laughing cow cheese wedges
1 can clam chowder
2 slices bread (dry)