Wednesday, June 1, 2011

The Walk

LONG ASS POST ALERT but it's worth reading.  Funny, cool content!

So last night I decided to take just Vladdy for a walk and leave Piper home.  She was disappointed, I could tell but when she's around Vladdy's attention span goes completely out the window and all he wants to focus on is chewing on her ... plus I can't really take the firm hand with Vladdy that I need to when I have Piper because she's a very good dog and doesn't really understand why he's not so good.  When it's the three of us he tends to get neurotic and then I tend to get frustrated and then Piper tends to get confused and insecure and it's just not good so she stayed home.

Before I left I hopped on Google and mapped out a route that I had never taken before because I wanted a change of scenery and I wanted to make sure that I got at least 3 miles done.  So I headed out and it didn't start well ... Vladdy dropped a squat of the second kind in the parking lot right outside our building.  He's really good about not doing that in the house but he's not yet figured out that not every portion of "outside" is appropriate for pottying.  So luckily we were right next to the dumpster so I grabbed a subway bag and picked it up and then we headed out.  Much to my chagrin he popped a second squat of the second kind on the sidewalk about half-a-block away!!!  I didn't have a bag with me because I should mention that Snackers had taken him out about 30 minutes before we left which was also about 45 minutes after he ate dinner so I really wasn't expecting him to potty on the walk at all ... at least, not that kind of potty.  So I found a large flat rock and a pine cone and I scraped it all off the sidewalk and threw it into the bushes and then wiped up what was left with a palm leaf that was hanging over someone's retaining wall and off we went.  Cars driving by were probably rolling with laughter!

At last we reached the point where my planned route took us on a new path through a gated community that allegedly came out on our street but several blocks down the road from our house.  The gate was open when I went in so I figured I wouldn't have any trouble getting back out.  Nope.  I got to the outlet and the gate was chained and padlocked shut so I went back the way I had come only to find that gate closed also!!!  I walked the fence for a long time looking for an opening in the bars to squeeze through but to no avail and then waited awhile for a car to come along and open the gate but also to no avail.  I knocked on the door of a house right next to the gate to see if the owner would give me the gate code but the old woman shouted through the door "I don't open my door for nobody after dark" so I apologized and left.  I finally laid down on the ground and slid under the gate, then guided Vladdy between the bars because he was just barely skinny enough to fit ... thank goodness!  Well after all of that I wasn't about to go all the way around the main roads because that would have been an additional 3 - 4 miles and we were already exhausted so I headed back the way we'd come.

Now bear in mind this was a training walk so I kept doing a sharp about-face every time I could tell that Vladdy was paying more attention to our surroundings than he was to me.  This is the trick that my friend Tia taught me that she used to teach her dog who is a GOD among off-leash walkers.  Now I've been doing this with Vladdy on our walks but it has always seemed like it would never pay off but EUREKA he figured it out tonight!  All of a sudden I went to do a turn and he immediately turned with me!  It was so seamless that I thought he'd slipped his collar and turned around to find him next to my ankle, looking up at me.  I FREAKED OUT!  I started shrieking GOOD DOGGY and petting him vigorously and then he flopped over on his back in a clear display of glee and started kicking all four feet in the air with his lips flopped back in a big ol' doggy grin as I rubbed his tummy.  People driving by (because yes, we were on a main road) probably thought I'd lost my mind.  When I started to walk he jumped up and was actually looking up at me as we walked.  HOLY GREEN GODDESS ON A CRACKER BATMAN!!!  HE WAS LOOKING TO ME FOR CUES ... HE WAS PAYING ATTENTION TO SMEEEEEEE!!!!  I did four or five more turns and he was on my ankles like a 4H horse on a calf!!!  So we had another moment of good doggy shrieking and belly rubbing and paw kicking and then when he got up he grabbed his leash in his mouth and started trotting along next to me all excited that he'd finally figured it out!  I was able to loop the leash around my neck and not hold it with my hands for about a block and then puppy-brain took over and he lost all focus.

After that it was touch and go on the way home where some turns were instant and sometimes he wasn't paying attention but all in all it was a huge success!  Of course I had forgotten my phone and it was way past dark because my 3.4 mile walk had turned into an hour and 45 minutes so I ran into Snackers on my way home who was out looking for me.  He's so awesome!  He was all worried and irritated and said "you didn't take any ID, no phone ... something could have happened to you and I would have never known".  Isn't that precious?  It reminds me of my mommy!  Of course I reminded him that both my number and his number are on Vladdy's tags so if something had happened to me/us I'm sure the authorities would have given that number a try in the absence of other identification/contact info but still, he had a great point.  My bad, and it makes me feel good that he cared enough to be worried and to even get in the car and come looking for me.  Most guys wouldn't have worried like that until it had been several hours and probably past bed time.  Hell, at least one of my ex's probably would have waited until he got home from work the following day and I still wasn't home before he would have started to worry.  It feels good to be loved.

8 glasses of water
1 cup of coffee w/creamer
1 Healthy Choice Lunch
1 home made grill burger
>>1 lean beef patty
>>2 slices sour dough
>>4 tbsps saurkraut
>>1 tbsp balsamic vinegar
2 chocolate truffles
Daily Caloric Intake: 855

4 flights of stairs
Jogging/Playing: Took the dogs to the Bark Park again and ran around with them but then the wind picked up and all of the other dogs left so then it was boring and we left too
Walking: Left the park and went to the District to walk around the cobbled streets.  Not sure on the distance but it was a short walk because we got a late start (after 9 p.m.) and the sidewalks were pretty much rolled up.


  1. I find your progress pics so, so, so inspiring and then you had me at "I am not a jackass whisperer." Love your sense of humor!

  2. Sounds like you had an adventure! :D

  3. Hi Chance, welcome to the blog! Thanks so much for the support and compliments!

    Willpower: It was one crazy ass walk that's for sure but fun to laugh about when I got home. I was on such a high that I drove Snackers crazy because I was talking 90 miles an hour and, apparently, really loud. lol