Monday, June 6, 2011

30th Weigh-In

Another half-pound.  I guess it's still a loss and a victory but at this rate I'll still be over 200 lbs come Christmas.  Something has GOT to give.  I mean ... I'm doing and posting daily activity but maybe all these trips to the dog park aren't actually as active as they feel.  I like to run around, literally RUN around, in the grass with Vladdy because he likes to chase me and he gets all excited when I turn fast and make him turn with me.  But I can't sustain that kind of activity for more than just a few minutes at a time before I am gasping for air so maybe I think I'm being just as active by running around in short spurts as I would be if I were walking for long distances but maybe that's not true.  Maybe light, extended workouts were better for burn.  *sigh*

I want to be happy about a loss this morning, I really do, but I am so tired of these little teeny tiny, piddly ante losses!  And I can tell that you are all getting sick of them too because thread comments have dropped to almost nothing in the last few weeks and page hits are down dramatically as well which means I'm not as interesting as I used to be.  That's no surprise; it's far less motivating to watch a fat chick whittle off a half-pound per week and you're all thinking the same thing I'm thinking ... the inch worm on my weight loss counter is starting to look really appropriate.  I'm getting sick of this.  I felt better, slept better, and had higher excitement and motivation levels when I was losing 2-3 lbs per week, not to mention less stress, and I just need to get off my bulbous ass and do it.

Somewhere something broke and I went back to my old mentality of thinking "oh I can skip exercise tonight, it's not that big of a deal" but yes, it is that big of a deal and I just need to break out of this funk.  I keep telling myself that but when push comes to shove and I'm sitting on a recliner thinking about going for a walk I somehow almost always end up making the wrong decision.  It's tough love time guys.  You've been supportive, you've been encouraging, you've been sympathetic but I started this blog because I needed to be accountable to someone other than myself because I knew that, eventually, I would let myself off easy.  Don't hold back people, this is when I need you the most.

Give it to me straight.  Boo, throw popcorn and rotten tomatoes, tell me how disappointed you are in me ... something, anything.  I need someone to challenge me and challenge me big time because it is when someone tells me "you can't do it" that my stubborn attitude kicks in and I do whatever it takes to prove them wrong.  I perform best under pressure and lately there just hasn't been any pressure to succeed, especially not from myself.  This is not ok!  It is not ok that I'm stalling out and crawling along.  I am FAR FROM THERE and it is not ok that I am subconsciously accepting an accumulative 50 lb loss as success when I still have 99 lbs to go.  I can't allow myself to be happy with "close enough" ... I'm nowhere near close enough.  Now I need to hear that from you!

7 glasses of water
1 cup of coffee w/creamer
1 cup of Kona Coffee (not sure what's in it but it was tasty)
1/2 serving sunflower seeds
1 serving taco pie (lunch)
1 chicken fajita pita
Daily Caloric Intake: 984

5 flights of stairs
Walking: Walked the dogs to the dog park from softball (about 1/2 a mile)
Sprinting: Sprinted with Vladdy again tonight at the park but this time I didn't settle for sprinting until I just ran out of breath.  I really got into it.  At one point Vladdy took off with the ball in his mouth and I chased him full speed around the tables full of people, through the gazebo and around the watering station before finally cornering him behind a poop-station where we went side-to-side a few times until I finally outsmarted him and got the ball away.  I also sprinted around in the grass with him four or five times with three or four laps each time, doing fast stops and turns to keep him from running in front of me (almost slid and fell on my ass once and he bit me on the ass once which was an interesting experience) and then finally stopped when he got tired and laid down.  Of course I didn't tire him out single handedly, I had help from a Weimaraner, a boxer, and a German Shepard in between sprints while I caught my breath.  I truly, deep down, actually feel good about the level of exercise I got tonight even if I can't count the sprinting in my 15 mile goal for the week.


  1. How about buying something new to wear that you love and in the next smaller size? You cannot wear it now but will soon with renewed effort. You know the statistics are against you for losing weight and keeping it off. Prove them wrong. This lax attitude can and will snowball on you and trouble is on the way. Over at my place, there was an assignment a day or two ago about writing a letter to yourself - why not go over there and read up on it and git er dun!

  2. Try boosting your calories to 1400 and doing sprints in your backyard for 20minutes AS SOON AS YOU GET OFF WORK BEFORE YOU DO *ANYTHING* ELSE.

    Try that for 1-2 weeks and see what happens.

    Then again, maybe you'll just always be a 234; that would suck, but maybe that's just who you are.

    (your brother)

  3. Downsizers: Ironically it was a letter to myself that first got me rolling. I was having a really lousy night one night, convinced that Snackers was going to leave me because I wasn't pretty enough (nothing he did, just my own insecurity with myself) so I wrote this letter to myself that was very dark and evil about how I had to just accept that I was fat and would always be fat and that I should break up with Snackers because he deserved better. After reading your suggestion I went back and re-read that letter. It helped a lot, thank you!

    Brother: YOU ARE AWESOME! Your final comment (though it may be misinterpreted by others) was precisely what I needed. I'll show you homey! Just you wait 'enry 'iggins! I bet it was pretty hard for you to say that because you and I both know that you believe in me but I do appreciate it and it doesn't hurt my feelings, it motivates me. Goal Model Body here I come!!!!

  4. I understand EXACTLY how you feel. I've been asking myself how one gets stuck at 255lbs. Who knows? Whatever you do, don't give up. I know I started to lose more weight when I switched up caloric intake, so perhaps following your brother's advice is a good idea. I think that's what I'm going to try.

    Btw...I enjoy reading your blog daily, I just don't comment very often due to time constraints. Keep up the great work. And remember, you have lost over 50lbs since November! That's a lot of weight!

  5. I'm here for ya, and I encourage ya. But I'm not really into detraction motivation . . . even if it works. But you always did strike me as a warrior type, and it makes sense that you want to fight and have the challenge.

    So, get out there and kick fat's butt!

  6. Erin: I'm going to give it a shot also. I upped my calories a bit tonight even though I now feel so full I want to puke. Eating fewer calories has definitely shrunk my stomach and probably dropped my metabolism because I used to be able to eat 2,000 calories no problemmo but today the 1,300-ish that I ate felt like I was gorging myself.

    Ki: You've always struck me as the type that uses "do it or else" as a motivation. Like "tap out or pass out" ... I remember hearing that one a lot. ;)

  7. Glad to hear you're going to try to get past that 234! (course, it's no shame if you can't do it... at least you can say you 'tried'... with a little pathetic look on your face)

    You took last night completely off; you owe double-duty tonight, that's what I'd say! :)

    Yes, sprints build muscle -- LOTS of muscle. HUGE amounts of muscle. Sprinting is the weight-lifting version of jogging. You ever compared the photo of a sprinter against that of a long-distance runner??? The sprinter looks more like superman and the runner looks more like Erkel. Haha... my apologies to all of the joggers out there! :)

    Back-and-forth sprints only enhance the exercise even more.

    BTW: sprints are hard to maintain every day (when you are starting-out anyways)... just a warning, as you saw yesterday. The pain, fatigue, and tightness can just become too great to keep doing it every day. Normally after weight-lifting (which a sprint essentially is) you want several- to many-days of rest off before exercising that same body part. Today you may only be able to jog but you'll feel you're giving it your all. That's ok, just give it all you can for 1 week. But I don't suggest you keep sprinting every day indefinitely; just a little 1 week "push".

    If you like it, you might want to try sprinting 1 or 2 times per 7-10days and doing lighter exercises for longer-durations on the other days.


  8. Bro: Ironic you should mention double duty because I just got home from a 5.25 mile walk plus sprints and then logged in and saw your comment. lol I definitely would like to have a body type somewhere between superwoman and erkel-ette so a nice balance of sprinting/jogging is probably going to be ideal. I didn't jog tonight because I had Vladdy and his vet suggested that we not run/jog him on pavement until he's at least 1.5 years old because his breed has such a high risk of hip displasia and other joint problems (something we'd also heard from my friend Tia who owns a Rotty, a breed also famous for hip and joint trouble) but we did walk very fast to the park and then did sprints in the nice squishy soft grass and then did another fast walk home. I'm POOPED!!!! I left at 9 p.m. and just got home at 11:08 pm so that's two solid hours of physical activity. YAY ME!

  9. Way to go, congrats!

    You make me ashamed -- I work out and try and eat well, but I'm not doing nearly as well as you... too many other responsibilities... ugh.

    I'm proud of you, keep it up!

  10. You just need to get a hyperactive 30 lb puppy. I was originally planning on just going to the park the long way and taking the short way home last night but after going the long way to the park and doing sprints at the park I could tell that Vladdy still had more energy than I wanted him to have so I opted for the long way home as well. By the time we made it in the door he actually pulled on the leash to get water, of course, but then he pulled on the leash to go in his kennel!! He only ever does that when there's food in there usually! But nope, he didn't even sniff his food bowl he just walked right in and flopped down on his big squishy pillow with a giant, dramatic groan of satisfaction and he actually slept through the night without trying nearly as hard to wake me up early this morning. I'm tellin' yah ... puppies can be a biiiiig motivator for physical activity. Everyone in the world should own at least one hyperactive puppy to keep them active. :) lol Michelle Obama should add that to her campaign and call it puppyercise.

  11. Heya lady, we started around the same time, around the same weight and are around the same weight now. I'm 230, and I remember telling you the 240's were hard. The 230's made the 240's look like nothing. augh.

    I know my body is getting used to what I'm eating and what I'm doing. I have been stuck at 230 for over a month now. Last week I started doing the c25k interval running program, and I also am trying out the gym. I've gone twice and LOVE it, I'm joining on friday. (my last free day). There, I do machines and swim and plan to start doing weights.

    I'm hoping to see a loss either this week or next, to get me in to the 220's.

    6-8 months is when a lot of people on my forums start to stall out. I think our bodies are just demanding more for the same results after awhile. We become too efficient. ha. Who would've thunk it? :)

    You can do it! See you in the 220's. ;)

  12. I *DO* have a 30-lb hyperactive puppy... his name is Xander, and actually he's only about 25-lbs. But he's a bundle of work and one of the things that makes regular exercise harder.


  13. Bro: Huh ... yeah maybe I should have been more specific. No way, he's only 5 lbs lighter than my super-monster dog? What are you feeding him?! lol

    Technically if you get creative he could maybe make regular exercise easier. That is 25 lbs that you can bench press, curl, push on a swing, carry, and hold while doing squats. ... Just sayin' ;) lol

  14. Haha... yeah, actually I sort of do that with him a bit. I don't do formal exercises much (sometimes I do, briefly) because he gets bored and cries. But I run around, pick him up in giant swooshes, throw him in the air, chase him, carry him in funny positions (ie: upside down by his ankles while we go up the stairs; great biceps workout!)... it's a bundle of fun!