Monday, April 4, 2011

Like a Lobster

Well the lake was fun.  We took the boat, inflated it, paddled around, I jumped out and swam around, we nibbled on PB&J and chicken salad, sipped some wine and spent pretty much the entire day out there.  We're both sunburned to a crisp which is fine with me because my sun burns usually turn into tans within 24-48 hours but Snackers is miserable.

I slept like crap last night!  We went to bed sometime around 9 and I woke up at 11:00 pm because Snackers was hogging the blanket and with a sun burn we were both freezing so I had to wake up to cover myself up.  Woke up again at midnight completely parched and needing water.  Woke up again around 2:30 because the dog was just spinning circles in her basket on the floor and the sound of it woke me up so I yelled at her to knock it off and went back to sleep.  Woke up again around 4:30 for the exact same reason so I got up to use the bathroom, locked the dog in her kennel in the living room, stole some of the blanket back from Snackers and went back to sleep.  Woke up again around 5:30 because I must have been dreaming that my new boss was calling me to work and I was pissed about it.  Instead of realizing it was a dream and going back to sleep I decided that I wasn't going to let him think he could call me whenever he wanted and went back to sleep thinking I was ignoring him.  Woke up at 6:30 because I was afraid I had overslept the alarm and was late for work, realized I was actually 15 minutes early and just decided 'to hell with it' and got up.  It was only then that I realized my boss hadn't called me at all and it was just a dream.

Gained back 1.5 lbs from last week's weigh in and if Tuesday's cheat weigh-in of a potential 2 lb loss can be trusted that means I may have actually gained 3.5 lbs in four days.  That feels like crap.  I'm irritated and frustrated with the way I've been acting lately.  I had this huge food epiphany and then fell into my old habits of thinking that success means a green light to screw up.  I don't know why I do this; it's a form of self-sabotage and I just don't understand the psychological reason behind it.  Clearly I have issues though.  Here's to hoping I can get my damn head in the right place and get back with the program.

6 glasses of water
1 cup of coffee w/creamer
1 serving greek chicken salad
1 healthy choice meal
2 Tbsps peanut butter
>>10 baby pickles
3 oz white wine
Daily Caloric Intake: 900 (wow, exact!)


  1. Seems like you have a lot going on right now..School,Work, the new boss..It may just be stress..As you know our bodies as females can play some very nasty tricks on us! Though if you did eat and your body is holding onto extra sodium etc it is TEMPORARY!!! You have done amazing!! No one said this would be easy! I have went out to dinner many times..I just get right back on the horse so to speak! That is what had changed this time for me..In years and diets past if I went out to dinner and or ate somthing I should not have I figured that was it..I have blown it!! I ended the diet and never went back..Now I go back..I end it with that one meal. It is no longer a day or a week..It sometimes is a meal or even a bite..Then I get right back on! You are doing so great!!
    I had realized my dog Bella had been waking me up about 20 times a night.I did not know this until I started recording myself sleeping for medical reasons..I could not believe it when I seen it..I would actually start petting her or talking to her. But yeah she would sometimes even sit right on my face. They have always had Kennels but never slept in them. Now they sit right beside my bed. One on top of the other. Prancer is on top. He has to be able to see me. Bella liked it right off. She goes in and she is out! Prancer he was not too happy and is still adjusting but no more whinning..But now they sleep in there all night long! Plus I sleep all night long and boy do I notice a difference in the way that I feel!

  2. If you would go to the 2010 section of my archives and read "Your Miracle" I think you might get some help. I know this is maddening and confusing. I have tried to figure out many times why if I want something so bad I do things to prevent it from happening. I have a few entries there from Marianne Williamson's "A Course in Weight Loss" that were very helpful to me. It's time to get back at it. If it's any help, this kind of weight gain usually comes back off pretty quickly if you get right on it.

  3. That green light to screw up is my worst enemy. I know totally how you feel. I've actually given my husband permission to smack me if he ever hears me utter the phrase "this little bit won't hurt."

    Just keep doing what has been working. It'll happen. It was working before this minor thing, it will work again.

  4. Take at look at your pictures...
    Think about what you want...
    How are you going to get to where you want to be...
    You can continue to do this, one small victory at a time. You can!