My body is so confused

Well I broke out the shake weight again last night and burned my 300 calories between that and the lunch-hour exercises I did.  You know, when I used the shake weight on Sunday night I didn't really feel much from it.  But then I popped it out again last night and went to town, timing myself with the stop-watch as I had before.  I have to say that even though my arms didn't hurt yesterday, the minute I picked the shake weight up and started shaking it last night I could feel how tired they really were! 

I woke up starving yesterday, had half a muffin and wasn't hungry at all for the entire rest of the day.  Let this be a lesson to all of you: your hunger signals are probably deceiving you!  Had I listened to mine I probably would have only eaten 500-700 calories yesterday but  I forced myself to eat the soup for lunch and the sub for dinner because, logically, I knew better.  "Temptation" cooked up sticky rolls at 10:30 p.m. and insisted I eat one so I had a half of one to shut him up.  I still came in under my caloric goal, just barely, but I felt like I was literally forcing myself to eat yesterday.  My body is so confused right now.

Looking in the mirror last night after a hot bath ... I don't know if it's just wishful thinking or not but I think I look a little bit narrower at the waist line.  Also when I hug "Temptation" it feels like his arms wrap a little farther behind my back than they used to.
Food:
3 glasses of water
1 cup of coffee with creamer
1 chocolate protein shake (yucky-poo)
1 can Progresso light italian veggie soup
4 Fresco Ranchero chicken soft taco's
1 slice cookie dough pie
8 oz white zinfandel
2.5 cups buffalo cheddar popcorn
-----------------------------
Daily Caloric Intake: 1411

Exercise:
30 squats
30 lunges each leg
100 crunches
30 push-ups
15 minutes on the shake weight
-----------------------------
Daily Caloric Burn: 428

Third Weigh-In!

So today is the post-Thanksgiving weigh-in and I have to admit I was a little nervous last night before bed.  With access to the internet I finally started looking up calories for some of the foods I ate during the holiday and realized that, even though I thought I was being somewhat smart, some of those things were shockingly high in calories.  Like the Texas Double Whopper, which I knew wasn't a great choice but I hadn't eaten much all day so I thought I'd be ok ... 1,050 calories!!!  HOLY SHMOLY!

I'm pleased to see that I still lost some weight and I know that it's probably not as much as I could have lost had I been more vigilant with my counting while at my mom's but I'm home now and back with the program.  Home cooking is all but impossible to count calories with though ... it seems like whole food items and raw foods make it a lot easier to keep track.  Fast food makes it fairly easy too but it's also fairly unhealthy.

I've set a new week-long goal for myself to burn a minimum of 300 calories per day, every day this week through exercise.  I finally got my shake weight and I used it for 30 minutes last night.  Because my arms couldn't go a full 30 minutes straight I broke out a stop-watch and would stop and start it as I needed breaks so it actually took me about 1.5 hours to complete the full 30 minutes with it.  According to what I've found online it burns about 12 calories a minute.  I don't know how accurate that is because everywhere I look I find a different number.  My arms are a little sore this morning but nothing like they would be had I worked out with a heavier weight (the shake weight is only 2.5 lbs).  But, if it really burns the calories that they say it burns, I'm happy with it.  Especially because it's something I can use at night while watching TV, though I didn't break a sweat at all with it.

Food:
4 glasses of water
1 cup of coffee with creamer
1/2 a spice muffin
1 cup Tom Ka Kai soup
1 foot long roasted chicken breast sub on 9 grain, no cheese, light mayo
>>1 serving black olives
>>2 servings onion
>>1 serving cucumbers
>>1 serving tomatoes
1 90 calorie snicker's ice cream bar
1 cup of edamame
1/2 a cinnamon roll
------------------------------
Daily Caloric Intake:1,593

Exercise:
150 crunches
30 leg lifts (side) each leg
30 leg lifts (front) each leg
10 butterfly kicks
15 minutes with the ShakeWeight
------------------------------
Daily Caloric Burn: 487

Home Safe & Sound

Well the Thanksgiving weekend is all but over and I am back home safe and sound.  More eating on the road today because we woke up to snow on the ground and more falling from the sky and feared getting into weather trouble so we bounced out of bed and hit the ground running without time for a wholesome breakfast.  I'm sure it's going to make the rest of the day tough on calories but the added bonus of laying around the house doing nothing today except my hour of exercise will certainly help.  Left the Wii fit board behind at mom's so I guess I'll break out the Dancing With the Stars tapes (finally!) to keep me moving until I go back to see her again at New Years.

I did some deep, honest with myself, eval of my weekend food last night with the help of "Temptation".  I don't necessarily think I was as successful regarding holiday eating as I had wanted to be but I most certainly didn't go overboard either.  At least I don't think I did.  I had the added bonus on climbing the stairs at mom's at least 5-6 times a day too and the Black Friday shopping was quite vigorous.

Back to the grind stone though, back to counting like it's a religion.  I finally got the shake weight I wanted as a belated birthday present from mom too so there's no reason I can't break that out for an hour a night while watching TV.  Behind on school assignments though, they're due tonight and I haven't even started so I'm signing off for the day to get them done.  (Time of Writing: 9:59 AM)

Food:
4 glasses of water
1 small banana
2 16 oz coffees with creamer
1 breakfast sandwich from jack in the box
1 single-serving carton of orange juice
1 Hershey's snack pack
1 cup of spicey tom yum soup
5 steamed pork pot stickers
1 Snickers 90 calorie ice cream snack
1 Reeses 100 calorie snack stick
----------------------------------
Total Caloric Intake: 1482

Exercise:
20 minutes packing up the car (bags, tv, luggage, cooler, dog, etc)
3 flights of stairs (1 at moms and 2 at home unloading the car)
30 minutes consistent shake weight exercise (18.3 calories per minute according to the website)
----------------------------------
Daily Caloric Burn: 682

Away for the Holidays

Hi everyone, sorry I haven't been posting I've been at my mom's house for the holidays and her internet is slow if not non-existent.  I am at the internet cafe near her house now dropping a quick note so you don't all think I've given up.

Thanksgiving was a bit of a splurge day.  I had a banana and a cup of cereal with milk for breakfast.  Had some turkey, 1 cup of steamed veggies, 1/2 cup of stuffing, 1 cup of green bean casserole, 1 cup of cornflake potatoes, 1 roll, 1 cup of salad, a bite of sweet potatoes (under duress from my sister), and a slice of pecan pie for dinner.  I managed mom's challenge for the week with plenty of water.

Yesterday I had more water, some chicken rice and veggies for lunch and three slices of pizza for dinner, then more water.  If you count the tomatoes on the pizza I managed mom's challenge yesterday too but just barely.

This morning I am having a cup of mocha coffee and a breakfast burrito at the cafe where I'm writing this.  I'll try to remember to have a piece of fruit when we get back to mom's house.  The water won't be a problem but keeping track of calories when I don't have regular access to CalorieCount.com has been really hard so I'm just trying to guess and be mindful of my food intake.

Exercise has included 2 hours on the Wii with mom and dad and "Temptation" on Wednesday night, cooking, helping set-up and helping clean up the kitchen on Thursday, four to five hours of vigorous black Friday shopping yesterday and I would like to see if I can get mom and dad back on the Wii with us again later today.

I have to get some school work done now so I'll leave it at that and let you all know I'm still working hard at being good with my diet and keeping active.  HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Ouch Ouch Ouch!

Squats schmots!  About an hour after doing squats and lunges yesterday I realized that I felt partially paralyzed from the waist down.  My legs didn't hurt, mind you, they just didn't function.  Ok so they functioned but it was like I couldn't really feel them.  It was the most bazaar, curious sensation.  By dinner time they were getting worse and I realized that when I would sit down the last inch or so, before my bottom would connected with the sofa or chair, my leg muscles would just "quit" on me and I'd kind of flop the rest of the way down.

Well this morning I woke up, rolled out of bed, hit the floor, and nearly crumpled in spasms of pain.  My saddlebags are killing me!  Every time I try to stand up or sit down it feels like those muscles on the outsides of my thighs are going to snap because they are strung tighter than a piano wire on the key of high-C.  Glutamine, I definitely need to find some of that stuff.

Water drinking was easier yesterday but the calorie conundrum has struck me.  I've read about this on the message boards at CalorieCount.com and I'm perplexed that I am experiencing it so soon.  First I have a bad day where I am hungry all day and struggle to stay under my caloric limits and then I go three days or more of not feeling hungry enough to eat even 1600 calories.  Although eating less than 1600 seems ok, everyone on CalorieCount insists that this is bad and can lead to malnutrition.  I'm sure it's a form a "body tricking" as my brother mentioned in a comment on a previous post (Saturday) but it's still irritating.

I am so excited for the drive to Utah to see my family tonight.  Although it's still more than 10 hours away, I can hardly sit still because of the anticipation!

Food:
4 glasses of water
1 cup of coffee with creamer (new creamer only 20 calories per serving!)
1 honey bran muffin
1 whole large white grapefruit
1 Weinerschnitzel Classic double cheese burger
1 Weinerschnitzel Chicago style hot dog, no relish
----------------------------------
Daily Caloric Intake:1532

Exercise:
Folding laundry and packing for the trip
2 hours of golf, bowling and other Wii fun with mom, dad, and "Temptation (not included in count below)
----------------------------------
Daily Caloric Burn: 125

(I don't have my Wii calculator link here at mom's so my burn figures will be off for the rest of this week.)

Waterlogged

So yesterday I stuck with my commitment to drink at least four glasses of water and eat at least one piece of fruit every day for the week and, I must say, I'm feelin' a little water logged.  The hardest part about this challenge, which I hadn't anticipated, is that it's not asking me to replace fluids I already take in with water, it's asking me to drink more fluid than I feel thirsty for.  Well, at least yesterday that was the case.  Some days I am thirsty and I just want to drink more and, other than my coffee and the occasional glass of wine, water is a natural choice for me now.  Yesterday, however, I was anything other than thirsty enough to drink four glasses of water.  Part of that is probably because I had a very brothy soup for lunch but I must say ... the third and fourth glasses of water did not go down easily.

Today my feet feel a little swollen, I think it's due to water retention because they don't hurt at all.  My legs and hips hurt a little from the leg lifts but not nearly as bad as they did last week or the week before ... I guess that means I need to try to up my reps if I can next time I do them.  My calves feel a little tight also, I think that's from the step aerobics over the weekend and the 20 minutes I spent last night doing hula-hoop on the Wii.  It reminded me of belly-dancing which reminded me that I still have a belly-dancing DVD that I borrowed from a friend a few years ago and forgot to give back before I moved.  Maybe I'll break it out and get back in the practice.

I get to head up to my mom's for the holiday weekend after work tomorrow and she has a belly-dancing DVD that I got for her earlier this year so I'm excited to see if she'll pop it in and go through it with me.  I think it would be really fun but with the whole family around, I'm not going to get my hopes up.  Maybe my sisters will join in, I'll take my coin belts just in case. :)

Food:
4 glasses of water
1 cup of coffee with creamer (the last of the Irish Cream)
1 organic red pear
1 honey bran muffin
1 can light italian meatball soup
1.5 cups lasagna with meat sauce
1 slice garlic toast
1 Hershey's 100 calorie snack pack
2 slices white American cheese
-------------------------------
Daily Caloric Intake: 1,467

Exercise:
30 squats
30 lunges (each leg)
30 leg lifts (side) each leg
90 crunches
60 push-ups (front)
15 push-ups (back)
------------------------------
Daily Caloric Burn: 497

Weigh-In Number Two!!!

I just do not believe it!  Another 3.5 lbs lost!  It's actually working!  It's working in a tangible, results, I can do this kind of way!  Ironically yesterday was a hard day for me.  I knew that the weigh in was this morning and I was looking forward to it all day yesterday but, at the same time, I was hungry all day yesterday as well.  I would eat something substantial, stand up from the table and it was like there was a trap door in my stomach or something because it would suddenly feel completely empty and start growling at me as though I hadn't eaten in a week.  I really felt the stress of calorie counting yesterday, truly for the first time.  I wanted to eat everything in sight and yet, I didn't want to eat anything at all because nothing sounded good enough to "spend" my calories on.  I was like a kid at a candy store who had only $1 and wanted everything in the store but didn't want to spend her dollar on any one item.  So I just stood there in the middle of the store and looked at the candy, torturing myself.

I ended up going to the Perfect Circle concert with "Temptation" because his buddy decided he didn't want to go at the last minute.  Climbed a few flights of stairs, did a fair amount of walking, spent most of the show standing, then came home and did some Wii Fit.

I just can't believe I'm seeing another loss again this week.  I really thought I was going to stall out or something.  It's like a miracle is happening right now because I really never thought that I could lose weight by trying ... every time I've ever lost weight it was just something that happened as a result of other events in my life.  I can be thin AND have a happy relationship ... amazing!

Food:
4 glasses of water
1 cup of coffee with creamer
1 cheese croissant
1 organic red pear
1 can Progresso Light Beef Pot Roast
1/2 cup leftover lasagna (crammed lasagna in a measuring cup.)
1/2 cup leftover spaghetti (crammed spaghetti in too.  I'm awesome.)
1 Hershey's 100 calorie snack pac
2 slices white american cheese
2.5 cups buffalo popcorn
------------------------
Daily Caloric Intake: 1,541

Exercise:
90 stomach crunches
30 leg lifts (side) each leg
30 leg lifts (front) each leg
------------------------
Daily Caloric Burn: 219

(p.s. Posting early today because I am too excited about the loss to wait!!!)

Hooray Cardio!

So last night I broke out the Wii Fit and decided to try out the step aerobics.  I did the routine a few times and then it suggested a water break (the Wii did, polite of it huh?)  So I drank a glass of water and then went at it a few more times.  Took another 10 minute water break and was going to quit and then thought "I can totally get a perfect score, I know I can" so then I was up and at it again.  Long story short after 60 minutes I was huffing and puffing and I was drenched in sweat.  I didn't get the perfect score but I'm not giving up.  I unlocked advanced mode so I'm gonna try again today and see if I can beat it.  The Wii evaluation said I weighed 274 ... not sure if that's just a scale difference or if I've really lost another 5 lbs but I'm not going to get on the bathroom scale until tomorrow morning as planned.  I shouldn't have peeked on the Wii though, now I'm nervous.

This morning we had breakfast at Mimi's because they have an awesome "Light and Fit" type menu that has calorie totals on each dish.  I also picked up some honey bran muffins to have for breakfast this week because the calories on them were very decent.  We went to Whole Foods, as promised, and I realized that they are waaaay too expensive, there's just no way.  I picked up a few pieces of fruit because they had really pretty produce and then we tucked our tails back to Wal-Mart where I drove "Temptation" nuts with my label reading.

On that note, Egg Nog is an evil plot invented by diet companies.  If someone can sue McDonalds for making them fat, the Egg Nog industry should have a giant red target on the backs of all their Armani suits.  We did a fair amount of walking around during the shopping but I'm not going to count it in my exercise today because it was sporadic and I didn't track the time we spent actually walking around like I did the last time.  I did, however, get some rubber soled socks to wear on the Wii Fit because it skinned my big toe last night from working out barefoot.  Behold, football is on.  Joy.

Food:
5 glasses of water
1 cup of coffee w/ half n' half, and a splenda packet
1 Egg White Omlette
>Broccolli
>Mushrooms
>Spinach
1 slice of honeydew melon
1 slice of pinapple
1 cup of grapes
1 orange slice
1 glass of tomato juice
1 cup of lasagna
1 Hershey's 100 calorie snack pack
54 french fries
1 cup vegetable fried rice
-----------------------------------------
Daily Caloric Intake:1,652

Exercise:
2 hours walking/standing (Perfect Circle Concert)
21 minutes Wii Fit aerobics
-----------------------------------------
Total Caloric Burn: 334

Stress Thwarts Weightloss

So I just completed my final essays for the COM156 and HUM176 classes (English and Media Studies) and have submitted them for grading.  In my first glass this year (SCI162) I learned that the chemicals that our bodies naturally produce during periods of stress actually facilitate the accumulation of stomach fat.  There are actually two kinds of belly fat, the stuff directly under the skin that jiggles when we walk and the stuff that exists deeper within, around our organs and is fairly solid.  This second type of fat comes from stress-eating and is the only type of fat specifically linked to heart disease.  YAY STRESS!  (Yes I am being sarcastic).  These were two of the toughest classes I've ever had and the essays for them were really deep so I'm stressin'.  I can actually feel my heartbeat increasing as I talk about it.

NEW SUBJECT: Did you know that some popsicles only have 45 calories?  I didn't either until I went label reading through the freezer last night.  Did you all check out that article in my daily thoughts?  If not here's the link.   So the guy actually lost weight while eating snack cakes but he included protein shakes, vitamins and veggies to compensate for nutritional value.  Awesome!  No I am not going on a snack-cake diet, don't worry, but I now know that if he can do it with snack cakes by simply counting calories, I can do it by counting calories with the healthier food that I'm eating too.

The protein shake doesn't seem like a half-bad idea.  "Temptation" took the Hoodia pills with him to work today in case he's in the area of a GNC.  I told him I wanted a ShakeWeight and to price protein shakes.  I'm not having him get a protein shake for me though because, if they're affordable, I am going to want to read labels, ingredients, calories, daily values, etc to make sure I'm just getting a protein shake and not some kind of performance enhancing formula or something for body builders.



Food:
5 glasses of water
1 cup coffee with creamer
1 cup of white rice with lemon pepper
1 whole tomato sliced with salt and pepper
2 slices white american cheese
12 inch oven roasted chicken breast sub on 9 grain bread, no cheese
>5 tomato slices
>7 cucumber slices
>2 oz black olives
>1/2 cup sliced onions
>1 Tbsp light mayo
>1 Tbsp Dijon Mustard
1 ice cream snickers bar
---------------------------
Daily Caloric Intake:1,466

Exercise:
60 minutes of step aerobics on the Wii Fit (Ki, here's your cardio! :) )
---------------------------
Daily Caloric Burn: 336

(This seems a little low considering how hard I am breathing and how much sweating I did but it's the only Wii Calorie Calc I can find.  Oh well ... I know I burned SOMETHING.  I'm exhausted but it was insanely fun!)

A Very Bad Night

Well I slept like crap last night and I suspect it's because I did less exercising than usual.  The stretching felt good though and about the only part of me that really hurts right now are my inner thigh muscles.  I must have woken up three different times last night and ended up rolling out of bed an hour early, feeling like a complete zombie but totally unable to go back to sleep.

The lack of sleep is making me irritable and the neighbors aren't helping.  They've locked their dog out on the balcony again and it's been whining and howling all freakin' day.  It's a relatively small dog, a pampion I think they're called, so I'm surprised they're leaving it out in this cold weather.

Work was busy but excruciatingly slow, again probably because I'm so tired.  I was sorely tempted, last night, to inhale that last 175 calories in the form of some kind of candy bar but lacked the ambition to actually go to the store and buy one; which is probably for the best.  I know I can't deprive myself or, at some point, I'm going to snap and go ape-crazy on the chocolate isle but, for now, the cravings for sweets are only minor.  Still, I should probably pick up a low calorie snack this weekend to curb them before they become raging monsters or I may not be able stop them.  I do miss chocolate.  I bought a 100 calorie box of mini ice-cream snickers once, that might be ok if I only eat one a week or a half of one twice a week.

Food:
2 glasses of water
1.5 cups of coffee with creamer
1 cup fat free milk
1 cup raisin bran
1/2 cup of white rice with lemon pepper
1/8 of a kielbasa link
2 slices white american cheese
1 cup of spaghetti noodles (cooked)
1 cup of spaghetti sauce w/ground beef
1 piece of garlic toast
8 oz White Zinfandel
2 fruit popsicles (45 calories each)
-------------------------------
Daily Caloric Intake:1,496

Exercise:
90 crunches (stomach)
30 leg lifts (side) each leg
30 leg lifts (front) each leg
30 push ups (girl push-ups, still)
--------------------------------
Daily Caloric Burn: 221

Finals Week

So it's finals week again at school and I am optimistic with an A in both classes; one is a solid A and the other is squeaking in.

I slept like a rock last night for the first time in a long time.  I woke up before the alarm again this morning but, this time, I woke up feeling like I was ready to wake up instead of feeling like my psyche was yanking me out of bed against my will.  Everything hurts though; legs, back, butt, stomach, arms ... even my pectoral muscles hurt.  It's really hard to exercise when everything is already sore but I refuse to take a day off.  I'll just try to do some cardio or stretching today.  Stretching actually does help burn fat because it burns calories and helps to oxyginate muscles and improve blood flow.  The calorie burn is significantly lower than normal exercise though, only about 122 calories for 45 minutes.

My Hobbit diet yesterday seemed like it worked well, except I had 5 meals instead of 7.  I ate "first breakfast", "elevensies", "lunch", "dinner", and "supper", and skipped "second breakfast" and "afternoon tea".  Because the portions were smaller and calories were lower I felt hungry more quickly after each meal but, by the end of the night, I felt satisfied and still came in just slightly under my caloric goal.  My impromptu carrot salad with sliced tomatoes, by the way, was delicious. *adds more shredded carrots and tomatoes to the shopping list*

"Temptation" is expecting a better than average check because, now that he has his driver's license again, he working solo which means higher commissions so he told me he'd take me to Whole Foods to buy my groceries this weekend.  Isn't that sweet?  Whole Foods is where the cheftestants on Top Chef shop and, from what I've seen on the show, looks like a playground for someone like me who is trying to eat healthy.  I hope they're not too expensive though.

Food:
4 glasses of water
1 cup of coffee with creamer
1 cup of fat free milk
24 mini-wheats
1/2 cup of white rice with lemon pepper
1/4 kielbasa link
5 oz prime rib - dry
1 cup crab salad
1 cup marinated mushrooms
1/2 cup lettuce
>1 oz black olives - sliced
>1 oz pickled beets
>1 oz red beans
>1 oz onions - sliced
>2 Tbsps French dressing
1/2 a bite of "Temptation's" lasagna (does sniffing his soup count too? lol)
---------------------------------------
Total Caloric Intake:1,425


Exercise:
30 stomach crunches
45 minutes of intense stretching
Turned the stairs to my front door into a workout (up 1 stair, down 1, up 2 stairs, down 1 etc)
---------------------------------------
Total Caloric Burn: 280


(p.s. to Subscribers:  Sorry for editing this post like, 8 times yesterday.  I'm trying to start the post in the am before work and save it without publishing.  That way each post will only get published once, right before bed.  But I hit the "publish" button on accident yesterday.  Bear with me, I'm learning.)

Officially 7 Days

Well, even though I started this blog a week ago Monday, today is officially 7 days from the start of my workout and calorie counting process.  Two more weeks to go and all of this should be a habit if my mother is right about it taking 21 days to form one.

Last night, after I had already gone to bed, I was hit with a sudden attack of hunger pains.  They came on instantly and were as strong as if I hadn't eaten all day.  I find this annoying and it is clear evidence that my body is confused.  Well I'm just fine with that, let it be confused.  I know I'm not starving myself and I know that I feel great, not to mention there is no way that I am going to get out of bed at 10:30 at night to eat something.  So I ignored it, went to sleep, and woke up not feeling hungry.

I'm eating like a Hobbit today.  At 4 pm after work I mixed up shredded carrots, fat free catalina dressing, rice wine vinegar, two slices of white American cheese, and a whole tomato sliced with salt and pepper.  Later I will find some form of meat and something else for the final 600 calories.



Food:
4 glasses of water
1 cup of coffee with creamer
1 onion bagel toasted (last one!)
2 oz cream cheese
1 cup fat free milk
24 mini-wheats
10 almonds
1 whole tomato - sliced with salt and pepper
1 cup shredded carrots w/ oregano and red pepper
2 Tbsps Fat Free Catalina dressing
1/2 Tbsp Rice Wine Vinegar
2 slices of white American cheese
1/2 cup white rice w/ lemon pepper
1/4 of a kielbasa link
8 oz White Zinfandel
-----------------------------------
Daily Caloric Intake: 1,576

Exercise:
30 stomach crunches
30 leg lifts (side) each leg
30 leg lifts (front) each leg
30 butterfly kicks (both legs) [These are AWESOMELY effective]
30 bicycle kicks (each leg)
90 minutes of Wii Golf
------------------------------
Daily Caloric Burn: 698

[I need to find a calorie calculator that counts reps instead of minutes.  These numbers are way too sporadic.]

The Aftermath

Last night's birthday celebration was fun but tough.  All-you-can-eat Sushi has rules: if you don't eat everything you order you have to pay for it.  And the chefs know "Temptation" on sight because he used to eat there several times a week with his boss before I met him so they were being far too liberal with the sushi.  I would barely get one roll in front of me and they would be asking me what I wanted my next roll to be which made it really hard to pace myself.

I know from my health class earlier this year that the average body takes about 20 minutes for the "I'm full" signal to get from the stomach to the brain so by the time I realized I was full ... I was way too full.  It was very tasty though.  Then "Temptation" took me straight from the restaurant to a party where ice cream cake was placed in front of me with the expectation that I eat it, no time to rest between dinner and desert.  It took me about 45 minutes to eat half my slice and then that was just all she wrote.  Thank goodness I only have one birthday per year!

Today I woke up feeling like I wouldn't need to eat for a week.  By around 11 am I started to feel a little hungry and poured some carefully measured cereal but, per my brother's advice, I'm going to take GNC up on their offer to return the Hoodia pills and go au-natural.  The events of yesterday afternoon were very bad and I am not willing to tempt fate by trying them again just to see what happens.  I'll put that $20 to better use ... maybe I'll trade the pills in for a ShakeWeight because, green-goddess-on-a-cracker, did those push-ups ever KILL my arms yesterday!  :)

Food:
3 glasses of water
1 cup of coffee with creamer
24 mini-wheat biscuits with 1 cup of fat free milk
1 cup crab salad (leftovers)
2.5 cups tomato soup
12 inch oven roasted chicken breast sub on 9 grain bread, no cheese
>5 tomato slices
>7 cucumber slices
>2 oz black olives
>1/2 cup sliced onions
>1 Tbsp light mayo
>1 Tbsp Dijon Mustard
20 almonds
---------------------------------
Daily Caloric Intake: 1,664

Exercise:
30 leg lifts (front) each leg
30 leg crunches (front)
60 stomach crunches
--------------------------------
Daily Caloric Burn: 221

(Note: the calorie calc I am using measures burn by minutes rather than reps so some discrepancies may occur on this and it is to be intended as a loose guideline.  Plus side: abs are a-burnin' right now!)

p.s. Calorie intake prior to work-out today is about the same as it was yesterday and I do NOT feel weak, shaky, or otherwise poopy.  For me that's evidence that yesterday's fainting spell was the result of the Hoodia pills which only solidifies my decision to return them to GNC.

Bitter Sweet Birthday

So this morning was my first weigh in and I wanted to do it first thing in the morning, no food, no beverage, just straight-up me.  I also want to make sure that I follow this same protocol on all future weigh-ins to increase accuracy.  Remember yesterday when I said I wouldn't be disappointed if I didn't lose much or even saw a small gain because I just started.  Well I lied.  I LOST 8 LBS!!!!  No freaking joke I was so excited I jumped up and down in the bathroom and probably woke the couple that lives downstairs.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!

Today however, turned into a terrifying experience after my lunch break from work.  I ate my usual bagel, subbed the cream cheese with two slices of american (fewer calories) and a glass of water.  Then did my work-out.  After the work-out I was feeling really weak and shaky so I laid down on the couch because I couldn't really do much else and woke up 45 minutes later on the floor.  Late getting back to work and still feeling terrible so I wobbled into my office, ate 12 more mini-wheats because they were close at hand and laid my head back to rest.  "Temptation" came home about 10 minutes later and found me asleep in my chair but he had to nudge me to get me to wake up.  He fed me a few pieces of candy covered peanuts and some Sierra Mist because, obviously, my blood sugar was way too low.

I'm confused though because I actually ate more calories today, before the work-out, than I did any other day last week but clearly not enough.  I still feel really, really bad.  I am tempted to think it might be the Hoodia pills and maybe I will have to make sure I'm eating more high-protein foods in the mornings if I'm going to be taking it.  I certainly know that, as bad as I want to lose weight, I don't want to endanger myself doing it.  The look on "Temptations" face when he woke me was horrifying.  He was really, really scared.

Edit: I posted the above before going for my birthday dinner with "Temptation" because I knew I would not likely post before bed once we started to celebrate.  I allowed myself to splurge a little on sushi but still ate less than I thought I was going to because my stomach shrunk and I just couldn't do as many rolls as I used to.  I also forced myself to eat a half a slice of cake, even though I was stuffed to the freakin' gills, because "Temptation" took me to a surprise party at his boss's house where they had the cake waiting and sang to me.  I want to feel guilty about last night but I don't.  One day a month to enjoy a few rarities like cake and sushi can't be all that bad and, in the long run, this lifestyle will be easier to sustain if I don't feel like I am completely depriving myself.

Food:
1 glass of water
1 cup coffee with creamer
36 Mini-Wheat biscuts
1 onion bagel (no cream cheese)
2 slice white American cheese
6 oz SierraMist natural
8-10 candy covered peanuts
Several all-you-can-eat sushi rolls (didn't count calories on them)
1/2 piece of birthday cake (also not counted in the calories below)
----------------------------
Daily Caloric Intake: 923


Exercise:
30 Push-ups
90 Crunches
----------------------------
Daily Caloric Burn: 506

Shopping Burns Calories

Ok so anyone who knows me knows that I don't really like to shop but, that said, my birthday is tomorrow and I have been unable to give "Temptation" any ideas as to what to get me for a present.  Last night we shopped but didn't buy anything so today we decided to go out and try again.  YAY more calories burned!  We started the day off with breakfast like we do every Sunday, the one day of the week that either of us really eats breakfast at all.

I accepted the temptation of some corned beef hash but instead of getting the full meal with eggs and hashbrowns I just ordered a side, along with my usual toasted bagel and then I used half the cream cheese I normally use and replaced the lost moisture of the extra cream cheese with a side of pico de gallo which I spooned atop the bagel.  Surprisingly delicious and healthier I'm sure.

After breakfast we went to Payless, Wal-Mart, a book store and the mall.  I wore my shape-ups too so that will help with toning as well as calorie burning.  I picked out two pairs of dress shoes, a pair of work-out pants, a new purse, and a coffee mug.  "Temptation" picked up yet another cina-bun and I went to look around in Spencers while he bought it so that I wouldn't be tempted.  I left the mall without buying anything edible.  I'm so proud of me!  I've eaten about half of my daily calories but that's good because the day is about half over.  So far this hasn't been as difficult as I expected it to be and I'm not even feeling deprived yet.

p.s. Tomorrow is my first weigh-in.  I haven't even been working on my weight for a full week so I am not going to get my hopes up.  In fact I know I may have built some muscle with as bad as my legs have hurt for the last two days so I won't even be surprised if I've gained a few pounds and I'm telling myself now not to get discouraged by tomorrow's numbers ... although I must confess I am still hopeful.  Wish me luck!!!

Food:
4 glasses of water
1 cup corned beef hash
1 medium plain bagel - toasted
1 oz cream cheese
2 oz pico de gallo
1 bloody mary (ok so I splurged a wee bit, but it's counted in my calories)
1 cup coffee with creamer
1 salad (lettuce, red beans, beets, onions, olives, light dressing on the side)
6 oz prime rib - dry
3/4 cup crab salad
1 wedge of watermelon
1/2 cup assorted fruit
----------------------------
Daily Caloric Intake:1,708

Exercise:
2 hours of shopping/walking
2 hours of Wii golf (76 holes)
----------------------------
Daily Caloric Burn: 1,209

Saturday's Are The Hardest

So it's Saturday morning and "Temptation" froze my coffee.  I keep telling him not to push it to the back of the fridge but when I woke up this morning, there it was, and frozen solid.  I'll be home all day, alone most of the day, trying to finish up my school work for the week, get some work done on the book I'm writing, and find the motivation to keep the efforts of the past two days going.

I can't do my usual leg lift exercise because my hips hurt so bad today that I can barely walk ... I guess that means they work.  I think I'll actually play some golf on the Wii; I found a calorie calculator for Wii games, believe it or not, and golf looks pretty promising.  The best part is that I'm working on a tournament so I know I'll probably have the motivation to play for more than just one hour once I get going.  Right now I'm waiting for the maid to arrive though so I have to wait for her to finish her thing or I'll be in her way.  She's late.  I wish I'd started playing when I had originally planned instead of waiting for her.

Edit: Maid didn't show so I texted her and told her not to bother.  Did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen, did three loads of laundry and vacuumed the house.  Then went to dinner with "Temptation" and afterward we went shoe shopping and walked the mall trying to find a birthday present for me but there's just not really anything I want.  We did pick up some green tea pills from GNC that are supposed to help with the cravings ... I'll keep ya'll posted on that one.  I also found 20 calorie lemonade!  No kidding I went to the girls at Hot Dog on A Stick and said "do you know how many calories are in your lemonade?"  To my shock they actually pulled out a chart and their splenda lemonade was only TWENTY FREAKIN CALORIES! woohoo!

I guess that means it really does never hurt to ask!!!


Food:
2 glasses of water
1 whole onion bagel toasted
2 Tbsps of cream cheese
12 oz Sierra Mist Natural (aka Sprite because to me they're all the same)
5 oz prime rib - dry
1 dinner salad with ranch on the side
1 cup crab salad
1 large splenda lemonda from hot dog on a stick
1 pineapple orange cookie
------------------------------
Daily Caloric Intake:1,624

Exercise:
Cleaning: Dishes, Laundry, Vacuuming
Shoe shopping: 30 minutes
Mall Walking: 60 minutes
------------------------------
Daily Caloric Burn:648

Not A Bad Beginning

Yesterday wasn't so bad, not too shabby at all.  The dinner from Panda Express probably wasn't the best idea but I didn't go much over my caloric goal of 1600 and I managed to burn over 300 during my lunch break.  I discovered that the crunches were easier than I had expected so I was able to do twice as many as I had promised myself I would do.  I was also surprised by how difficult the leg lifts were, I guess that's because my legs weigh so much.  After completing the crunches and leg lifts I decided to lay on my stomach, prop myself up on my elbows and kick my feet up and down like I used to do as a kid.  I figured, any movement is better than just laying there sedentary right?  Come to find out that's not a half bad way to exercise the backs of my thighs and they actually feel pretty tight this morning as a result.  Who knew?

Today has been a bit tougher.  Yesterday I was able to wait until 11 am to eat a bagel and then didn't eat anything else until dinner...though a massive Sprite craving attacked me after dinner and I was forced to ignore it in agony until I finally just went to bed to make it go away.  This morning, however, I woke up starving and, though I truly tried to wait until 11 am again I was reduced to eating the bagel at 9 am.  To my surprise I was not only hungry, again, by 1 pm but even had a case of the shakes so I begrudgingly ate the hot dog.  I'll be honest here, I resisted putting mayo on it like I usually do in the interest of eating to sustain instead of eating for pleasure and, as a result I didn't enjoy the dog one bit but it did make my hands stop shaking.

After the dog I was pretty upset because I was sure I wasn't going to be able to find a dinner that was under 1,000 calories AND would appease "Temptation".  To my surprise, however, he agreed to Subway and I've already accustomed myself to eating the oven roast chicken on 9 grain bread with no mayo or cheese so I was thrilled!  So much so that I even permitted myself a glass of Sprite with dinner and I'm still under my daily caloric intake goal.

The night is yet young however and, considering the fact that I've been feeling violently hungry every four hours or so, I am worried that tonight is going to be really, really hard.  I also have a birthday coming up on Monday and "Temptation" has informed me to just "forget" my diet because he has already ordered some ungodly kind of cake and wants to go to our favorite all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant.  God hates me.

Food:
4 glasses of water
1 cup of coffee with a splash of creamer
1 whole onion bagel toasted
2 Tbsps cream cheese
1 beef hot dog w/bun and mustard
Foot long Subway Sandwich (oven roasted chicken, no cheese, 9 grain bread, vinegar, veggies)
12 oz Sierra Mist Natural
---------------------------------
Daily Caloric Intake:1482

Exercise:
30 leg lifts (side) per leg
30 leg lift (front) per leg
30 leg crunches (front) both legs
90 stomach crunches
--------------------------------
Daily Caloric Burn: 498

No More Stalling

Well three days ago I found the inspirational blog of "266", the woman who's journey with weight loss inspired me to start this blog of my own as a means of motivation and accountability.  I spent the entire first day configuring the blog to make it look the way I wanted it to look and then I spent most of yesterday writing the first post to give some background about me and my struggles with weight.

I had planned to make yesterday "Day 1" on my journey, tracking my food intake and ensuring that I did some form of exercise no matter what it was.  In the end I finished the post, then laid down and played games on pogo.com all night until bed time.  BUT, failure is temporary, only giving up makes it permanent.  So here we go, a brand new day and a brand new opportunity to succeed.

I did have a heart-to-heart with "Temptation" last night (see posting from 11/10/10 for information re: "Temptation") about how very badly I want this and I showed him "266's" video.  The problem here is that he harbors the belief that one can eat anything they want and that the key to weight loss is simply exercise.  What he fails to realize, however, is that his extremely active lifestyle and gigantic sweet tooth is not resulting in weight loss for him, it is merely preventing weight gain.  Where I already have the uphill battle of fighting my own hormones, a house full of junk food and processed dinners is not going to benefit my journey no matter how much exercise I do, especially considering that I both work and go to school online so I am in front of a computer for no less than 10-12 hours a day, mandatory.

I am done letting him hold me back though.  In addition to recognizing the flaws in his perceptions I am also prepared to recognize them in my own.  A good diet will be no more effective without exercise than exercise would be without a good diet.  They're a match made in heaven and it's time to accept that I need them both if I am to succeed.

That said I woke up early this morning, finished my school work and I am bound and determined to exercise today, in some form, even if it means doing crunches and leg lifts while watching TV on my lunch break.  In fact, I'm not going to wait until lunch to decide how I'm going to exercise, I'm going to decide that right here and now.  I will do 30 crunches and 30 leg-lifts on each leg.  I know that's not a lot but it's been a long, long time since I've done either of those things and I'm not really sure how taxing they're going to be so I don't want to over anticipate my abilities only to be setting myself up for failure.  If I get those done and still feel like I could do more, I will do more and I will report back here on how many I did but, no matter how much it burns, I will not do less than what is promised above.

There, that's one step in the right direction.  This is like running a marathon I think, with every step I take I make progress toward the finish line and all I have to do is make sure that I keep taking steps ... I'll get there eventually.  I don't have a wedding or high school reunion to anticipate so instead of trying to set a goal that may not be possible for me and looking forward to the giant picture, I will take this one step at a time.  If I look at 135 lbs as a finish line it's going to seem impossibly far away but if I look at each day one at a time I think I can do this.

Food:
3 glasses of water
1 cup of coffee with a small splash of creamer
1 whole onion bagel, toasted
2 Tbsps cream cheese
154 grams orange chicken
224 grams veggie chowmein
154 grams beef with broccoli
1 chicken egg roll
------------------------------
Daily Caloric Intake: 1662

Exercise:
60 crunches
30 leg lifts per leg
30 minutes of leg kicking (I'll explain this in tomorrow's post)
-------------------------------
Daily Caloric Burn: 327

What Led To This

So yesterday I spent the better part of my time putting together this blog and got absolutely no exercise in so I am making today officially day one!  I'm still working out the kinks here so forgive me if it doesn't go smoothly but I'm sure I'll find a posting groove rather quickly.  I feel as though I should begin with just a smidge of background information because, even though I currently have no followers as yet, I am hoping to gain some and they may want to know where it all began, though I will avoid making this an auto-biography. 

I was born in 1982 so I'm less than a week away from turning 28 years old.  I was raised in a religious,  filled with bad eating habits and there is a history of diabetes, heart disease, and cancer in my family.  So weight, at first, was an issue of bad eating habits and being an anti-social book worm; in those days I could put away as much at a buffet as my father.  My parents made a concerted effort though and from 12 to 15 I was relatively normal, then I hit "the change" ... you know the one.  The one all girls go through except I was hitting it a little later than most.  It seems like from my 15th birthday on (yep mother nature visited on my birthday) weight became an epic struggle.

The need to stay thin and be cute so boys would ask me to proms fed a negative behavior disorder in which I started eating as little as possible and wouldn't stop moving from morning to night.  I avoided family meals and lied to my mother when she offered me dinner.  I would tell her that I ate at work when, in reality, I was on a regiment of granola bars, green olives and orange juice.  I was riding my bike three miles to work then riding home.  I bussed tables, shoveled rock, stripped tile, then finished every night with sit-ups, jumping jacks, leg lifts and stretches before bed.

It worked, I was thin, but just barely.  I never lost enough weight to look anorexic even with all that hell.  In college it was a roommate who first noticed my problem and one day I came home from class to be accosted by her at the door.  She pinned me to the ground, black belt that she was, shoved an apple in my mouth and plugged my nose until I took a bite and swallowed it.  After two years of her often less than gentle persuasion and the fact that it was hard to exercise 16 hours a day when I had to spend 8 to 10 of those hours in class and another 4-5 hours studying.  That's when the real weight problems hit.

I learned that I tend to gain weight even more when I get into a relationship and I tend to lose it faster than what is probably healthy when I end one.  I generally self-medicate by refusing to stay in one place for very long when I'm lonely.  I would make myself feel better by going to dance clubs and softball games in the hopes of meeting someone new.  I also hate to cook and hate eating out alone even more so when I'm single I more or less stop eating with the exception of a few handfuls of snack food.

So here I am in a happy relationship, one that has lasted for 2.5 years and I hope it will continue to last much longer.  I'm also more over weight than I have ever been before and climbing steadily.  I'm still not a junk food junky and I still don't eat big portions or bad foods but it just seems like relationships always equal weight gain for me.  Boyfriend's don't typically do well with the idea of never sitting down to an actual meal; at the very least they like to have dinner every night so my usual habits of skipping breakfast, lunch, and dinner in favor of a dill pickle, and a few 100 calorie snack packs just doesn't work with them.

I should add, since I'm sure many of you are thinking this already, that yes I am hormonal.  It's Dr. confirmed but I'm unwilling to take hormone replacements because of the increased risks of stroke or heart attack so I'm bound and determined to tackle this weight problem the old fashioned way.  Good diet, lots of exercise and determination.

Just a heads up:  You may often hear me refer to "Temptation" as though it is a living, breathing being.  That's because he is.  He's a 6 foot hunk of carpet cleaning, romancing, treats me better than anyone in the world, hottie.  He's a junk food junky and he is always trying to tempt me with fast food, buying cookies and cakes and all manner of ice cream, and wanting to eat at buffet's and nice restaurants.  I do my best to say no to him but, I must admit that it's harder than ever to be a good girl when he's in my life because his eating habits suck!  He can get away with it because he works his butt off 10 hours a day while I'm working at my computer, doing college classes on my computer, or writing the book I'm working on ... on my computer.

*sigh*  This is going to be really, really hard.