Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Quick Shout

Learning graphical user interfaces at school this week and grasping it pretty easily so I have a few spare minutes to drop a line.

Monday my intake was coffee, yogurt, healthy choice lunch, a snack bar, grilled steak, red potatoes, and a 5 oz glass of dry red wine: 1,280.  I did 210 body-weight squats: 7 sets of 30 (when I woke up, one set per 10 minute break at work, one set at start of lunch and one right before it ended, one when I got off work, and one before bed).  I also cleaned the kitchen, scrubbed the grout lines on the counters, cooked dinner, and then cleaned the kitchen again.  Water intake was 80 oz.

I actually woke up yesterday with some pretty sore thighs.  Weeee.

Yesterday my intake was coffee, yogurt, healthy choice lunch, a snack bar w/some peanut butter, and 11 pieces of nigiri sushi (balls of white rice with slices of raw tuna, yellow tail, and octopus on top): 1309.  I did 210 front leg-lifts: again 7 sets of 30 in the same intervals.  By the last set before bed my lower abs were screaming.  I also helped Snackers bathe Vladdy and then I spent 45 minutes training him to lay on his new pillow in the bedroom and 15 minutes playing and rough-housing with him as a reward (I know, 45 minutes seems like a lot for "sit/stay" training but he's an extremely hyperactive dog with an exceptionally short attention span.  Every time a cat walked by or Piper shifted in her bed, or Snackers got up to do something Vladdy would jump up and it was back to square one).  Water intake was 110 oz.

I woke up this morning sore in both my thighs and lower abs ... upper abs are moderately tired but not overly sore.

It's funny because they say that muscle pain from working out is always the worst on day 3.  So today I'm doing kneeling push-ups, 7 sets of 30 which means tomorrow my thighs will hurt more than they do today, my abs will hurt more than they do today, and my arms/chest will be sore.  I guess that means I'll have to be creative with what I do tomorrow - something restorative and cardio would be ideal.  I've asked Snackers for a treadmill for Christmas because it's been windy, rainy, and cold here lately but I really want to get back to walking.  Plus I can put Vladdy on the treaddy during winter because he's a bigger wuss about the cold than Piper.  No surprise really, he has zero fat, extremely thin fur, and only one jacket that I could find in his size that's not very thick/warm.  If I had more time I'd crochet him a better one...then again he'd probably just destroy it.

I found a whole slew of new quests that I can do on Fitocracy so that's highly motivational!!!  I had gotten to the part where I'd done everything that I was physically capable of doing so I was just muddling through doing whatever.  Now there are new quests (because I've leveled up I guess) that I am physically capable of doing (though I'll have to get creative on my access to weights for some of them) and I'm all stoked about it.

However, to those of you who think I am just making excuses or giving up.  I guess if you've never studied computer programming you probably can't understand how hard it can be which is why my brother, a computer programmer, is one of the few people who did understand and support my need for a break from blogging.  The simple programs you use on your computers and ipads every day that do silly, stupid, simple things are extremely complex and took a team of people weeks or even months to create.  Just writing a program that prints a single, simple line of text to the screen and does nothing else requires a half-dozen lines of code to create.  I've been trying to push myself in too many different directions and it's showing.  Last week I completed an assignment on time and submitted it on time, and wrote it correctly but submitted it to the wrong class.  I've never, in 77 weeks of class, done that before - and it's the third stupid mistake I've made in this one class.  I'm usually a very methodical, careful, precise person.  Mistakes like this can only mean that I'm trying to go too fast and I'm not taking my time or paying close enough attention to what I'm doing.  That's unusual for me - highly unusual.  Those of you who know me / went to school with me can attest to that.  Ki, for example: we were students together at George Wythe University in 2000 where we both had a 4.0 GPA because we were both extremely, obsessively, diligent in our studies.

Walk a mile folks ... that's all I'm sayin'.

p.s. 266 continued posting for almost a year after she stopped weighing.  Her posts consistently reported two scoops of ice cream every single day for months before she finally stopped posting altogether because people were saying mean, horrible things to her.  I guess I can understand why she stopped posting under those circumstances but it's harsh to start talking about "rejecting 400" considering that I haven't been eating or posting bad food and I'm not quitting on the intake/logging or the activity - just writing daily stupid posts about random shit that most of you don't really care to read anyway.  This blog spikes on Mondays and on the 14th of each month.  Weigh-in days and picture days respectively.  Which means the majority of you just pop in to see how I'm doing and don't really care about my idle prattle anyway.  I didn't post my weight this week because it didn't change (up or down) from last week so it seemed like wasted space.  I didn't post a picture last month because I hadn't made progress so it seemed like wasted space.  It doesn't mean I'm quitting, it means I'm limiting my prattle to when I actually have something worth saying instead of sitting here day-after-day trying to think of something to write about when very few people really care to read it anyway. 

Today is the 14th so I will leave it up to all of you.  I've gone nowhere in my weight efforts BUT, I'd be more than happy to have Snackers take a picture when he gets home from work (I even have a brand new camera that I picked up dirt-cheap on black Friday) and post it if you want me to ... or I can wait until I've lost enough more weight that a new picture to the collection would actually matter.  Your call.  Cast your votes.


  1. 266 quit blogging due to a miscarriage and cancer diagnosis not because of the backlash of comments. There will always be haters.

  2. That I did not know and now I feel even more bad for her than I did before. Is that what drove her back into her old eating patterns also? Why did she even continue putting up with those mean losers? See ... some people just have no idea unless they've been there.

  3. In CS we have a term: KISS -- Keep It Simple, Stupid.

    I vote for not posting redundant data.

  4. *giggle* Ironic that my most faithful reader is on board with me only posting when I have something worth saying. I'll admit, daily posting certainly made Thanksgiving chats with you difficult. You already knew everything I've been up to! lol

  5. I am not going to lie or sugar coat it. I have read your blog diligently and followed along with everything you've posted. BUT frankly there were times where I was bored! It was just mundane "prattle" in which I lost interest in easily. I thoroughly enjoy hearing your successes and seeing your progress pictures although agree, if progress isn't being made then the pictures aren't showing much. Also I enjoy seeing pictures you post of activities you do and places you go. I appreciate knowing that things are going well, you're happy, and seeing you succeed. But reading how overwhelmed you are with work and school and all the tedious tasks of daily life we all go through just seemed to be filler when nothing pertaining to the your weightloss effort was available to tell. I think you should post when you have something relevant to say or show. Or when the mood strikes you to take a minute to catch up. And not saying that I don't wish you the best in your schooling and work or that I don't have any sympathy for the stress of being caught up in everything. But if taking a break means that life gets a little easier then by all means DO IT!

  6. I do have something interesting to say today. MY ABS ARE KILLING ME! lol. Amazing that 30 leg lifts here and there throughout the day didn't feel like much but whoa momma. They hurt so bad I had to wake up every time I wanted to roll over in bed last night. mmmmm burrrrn baby burn. :)

    I promise when I do something fun I'll share the piccies. I know that because I'm a facebook drop-out and a horrible long-distance friend some of you rely on this blog just to make sure I'm still alive and kickin'! lol I'm sorry. I've always been bad at keeping in touch with people long-term.

  7. I wouldn't worry about most . . . reasonable . . .people thinking you're quitting. You have a totally full docket, and blogging is just the first thing to go.

    The only way you quit is by going off your diet or saying "to hell with it," and sitting on the couch eating a pint and Ben a Jerry's.

    Doesn't look like that's happening.

  8. I am glad that Anon filled you in and I am kinda of surprised you didn't know about her miscarriage as she blogged about it. I still comment from time to time hoping that she has email notification and will one day return to bloggy land.

    I don't think it is cool that you attack your inspiration. You should be thanking her for getting you going on the correct path. She's not perfect- your not perfect- I am not perfect. We are all human.

    Good luck with your school and your bloggy break. Your pictures show the achivements that you have accomplished and I hope you will continue on your path. But I will not bash you if you fall off. I like the prattle- Isn't that what most blogs are? Prattle I enjoy the glimpse into other peoples lives.

    Did you notice only Brendalynn had a traceable history to her blog. That right there should weigh into your thoughts on your comments. As Anon said. Haters gonna hate. I am sure you still have people reading from that blog that linked to you last year and we all know how umm nice they were. @@

  9. Howdy Swan: I haven't recently 'attacked' my inspiration. I made one comment on her blog inviting people to come to mine that was definitely snarky and I've apologized for it. It was made out of frustration and disappointment because I saw her sliding - it was like watching a hero fall from grace. But you're right, she's not perfect and neither am I. Recent comments are definitely not intended as attacks on 266. I stopped reading her blog when she started to slip for two reasons. 1) Because, again, it was like watching a hero fall from grace and it shook my own resolve that I could do what she did so I had to "look away". And 2) Everyone's mean hateful comments to her like "Welcome back to being fat" etc. pissed me off. I got tired of fighting with commenters on her blog - so that's why I didn't know about the miscarriage.

    I guess when you look up to someone like that and then you realize they're not perfect you need a reason - like closure. Some kind of reasonable explanation that can make it make sense. In 266's case if problems in her personal life were the reason she started reverting to old eating habits, for me, it would be a reason that makes sense; closure. Something I can understand and even empathize/sympathize with her on (I can never remember which one means 'been there and i know how you feel' and which one means 'I've not been there but I am so sorry you're going through it'. I mean the latter. Obviously I don't know what she's going through but hearing that breaks my heart for her).

    I'm not sure who Brendalynn is - 266? I am also not sure what a traceable history means.

  10. But I need to be clear because many things are easily misunderstood on the internet where everything is plain text with no vocal inflection or facial expressions/body language to clarify. Nothing I've said about 266 on this blog was intended as hateful or mean. Simple facts, yes she stopped weighing for awhile but continued posting (after frequently asking her to post a weight, even if it wasn't one she was proud of, so we could help/encourage her I stopped reading). She did start posting a lot of two-scoop ice cream intakes right about the time that I stopped reading. I'm not hating, just stating facts. It did result in really hateful comments from her readers that I still feel were totally uncalled for, regardless of whether or not she had a good reason or just because she's human and it happens to us all. But a specific statement made here that I should change my blog to "rejecting 400" pissed me off and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

    You're right. There will always be haters and it sucks. I've gotten better about not letting them get to me but every once in awhile I guess someone pushes a button at just the wrong time.

    I've done great this week and I'm proud of it (though intake today is WAAAAAAY LOW because I got engrossed in java and literally forgot to eat until 2:30).

    There was a time when I first started this blog that some comments people made would infuriate me for hours after I read them. I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about them. That hasn't been the case in a long time - mainly because I stopped fighting back and I think those people just got bored with me. It's like Ki said "The only way you quit is by going off your diet or saying "to hell with it" ... Doesn't look like that's happening".

    It's not. And you, Ki, Brandon, Misty, and a slew of others have been super supportive, motivational and inspirational for me. I honestly started to think no one read this blog anymore. Not that it's about money, because it's not, but I do have adwords on this blog and I went from making over $1.50 a day to about $.04 a day so I took that as "no one cares anymore". I don't give a damn if I ever make a penny off this blog (and I haven't because all total my adwords earning are at like $9 and you have to get $100 before google will send a check) but I kinda started using the earnings as a gauge for how interesting you all thought I can be. lol. I mean ... even my own mother stopped reading so when that happens you think 'well if my own mom thinks I'm boring there's no way anyone else gives a rats ass what I write about'. On days that I was fighting back with the haters I made the most ducats...but it's so not worth it.

    I had a major and joyful break-through with school today (thanks to some help from my big bubbers) so I may just post a few lines of prattle today for Swan's inquiring mind. :)

  11. sorry adwords earning were per month not per day. My bad.

  12. Well maybe you didn't attack her. I used an incorrect word. Your PS about 266 just irked me and felt finger pointy this afternoon but not as much now. Maybe because I read your comment back.

    By traceable history I mean no link back to their own blog. Basically commenting anon even when using a name.

  13. I apologize Swan. I didn't mean anything finger pointy regarding 266. In fact, that p.s. was a response to the following comment left on a previous thread:

    "ur inspiration came from the blog 266.. let that be your inspiration then, because if you read her blog once she stopped caring and trying, she gained quite a few lbs back, and then just finally QUIT"

    The p.s. was basically pointing out that 266 and I are completely different. Quitting blogging, or even just not blogging every day, isn't the same thing as not caring or trying anymore. What she went through and what I'm going through now are totally different.

    That was the only point that I was trying to make.

  14. I couldn't agree with you more that "many things are easily misunderstood on the internet where everything is plain text with no vocal inflection or facial expressions/body language to clarify." I just re-read my very long post, and I am sorry that you misunderstood what I was trying to say to you. Of course I wish somehow you could have taken it in the tone in which it was intended. As I said, I have great admiration for your determination, and the things you have accomplished, not just the weight you have lost so far, but the lifestyle changes you have made. Maybe you could go back and re-read my comment and try to hear the tone of admiration and concern in my "voice." I understand your frustration at feeling like everyone is telling you to do something that you feel is counter-productive, however I think you may be reading what you want, or possibily lumping all of our comments together. There are an awful lot of numbers between the approx. 1000 to 1100 calories per day, on average you have been consuming the last few months and 2000. I never suggested you consume 2000, what I suggested was maybe you need to have a look at doing something different, something that tried and true professionals that have been doing successfully for years. Although the basic formula for weight loss is more "out than in" with regard to calories, I understand there are variables to take into account, the fact that our metabolic rate will vary based on a number of factors, and your medication are just two things to take under consideration. My suggestion, and I like to think the comments of others, was not to try to somehow f%&$ up what you are doing. Not only do I know that I don't have that kind of power, I also have better things to do.I want you to have success at this now, but I also want you to have life long success at it. I simply feel that since what you are doing has you currently stalled maybe you need to re-evauate.

  15. Bren: I will admit that I probably do "lump" the comments of many together at times. Several people post as "anonymous" sometimes and as their name other times, some only ever post as "anonymous". When I receive an "anonymous" post I have no way of knowing if it's the same person repeatedly or different people. There was an 'anon' poster that suggested I should be eating between 2,000 to 2,200 (I think, going off memory because I don't have time to hunt through past comments to be certain) and then I'm pretty sure your comment was 'anon' so I assumed you were one-and-the-same. My bad.

    I'm frustrated, not with you or me or food or other posters. I know it seems like that at times because I have a tendency to take that frustration out on commenters when someone says something at just the wrong moment I guess. Not that it's the commenter's fault. They can't possibly know when is "the right moment".

    I did 13 miles on Saturday. I did 7x30 workouts every day of the week. I did another 3.2 miles yesterday, plus yoga. And today I'm at 232. I'm so unbelievably frustrated I can't even think straight. Higher calories, lower calories, more exercise, less exercise, more sleep, on the meds, off the meds. It doesn't seem like any of it makes a difference anymore. I just keep bouncing back and forth between 223 and 233 and I feel helpless.

    Right before I started this blog I wrote a journal post at about 2 a.m. when I was feeling particularly down on myself and couldn't sleep. It was more-or-less a letter to myself about how I should just learn to live with being fat and alone because Snackers deserved someone better looking than me and I was just born to be fat and there was nothing that I could do about it.

    The journal post was on and someone read it (who knew, journals can be public!) and sent me a link to 266's anniversary video. I BELIEVED I could do it because of that video. That video CHANGED ME. But now ... here I am, busting my ass and counting like it's a new religion and adjusting up and down and every which way and I'm starting to feel like I was right. I was born to be fat and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. Math, science, and cold hard facts be damned. Somewhere some kind of higher power said "Lynsee, you're going to be a fat girl because there's some kind of effed up lesson that you need to learn from it". I'm feeling so hopeless and helpless lately. It's like 'what's the point? I'm going to punish myself for 13 miles and pass on the celebratory wine and tirimisu but it won't do me any good so I might as well eat, drink, and be merry because sooner or later I'm gonna die from being fat and there's nothing I can do to change that'. Well ... that's how I feel anyway - and it sucks.

    I'm sorry for taking it out on you, Snackers, my mom, and anyone else. It's no one's fault but lately I've been a super-bitch and I do feel bad about it. :( I'm not depressed - yet. I'm just pissed ... CONSTANTLY. It sucks.