Sunday, December 11, 2011

Not Working

Oish.  Something just isn't working.  I haven't stepped on the scale since Monday but intuition tells me it won't be good when I do.  For the first time in a long time I am consistently sleeping until the alarm goes off every morning and waking up feeling like I could still use another hour or two.  I spend my lunch breaks studying and then spend the whole night studying again too.  200 Jumping Jacks is pathetic but I can't justify taking time out to exercise when I have so much to learn.  Graduation is only four months away now (less actually!).  I'm nearing the end of my current classes and I will only have two more classes after these before it's over.  I'm starting to stress about coming up with the extra money to start paying off my loans - I'd like to get my unsubsidized loans paid off before my subsidized loans start earning interest in ten months.  I plan on getting a second job after I graduate, and I have been making payments to my loans for awhile now, but this is becoming crunch time at school and I just can't afford to blow it now.  I have to look at my priorities and, right now, the top priority after work is school.  I even feel like the time I spend writing these posts every morning and updating them every night is time I could be doing something more productive.  I haven't pleasure read a book since September.  *sigh*

This is just so frustrating.

Note: The above post was written on Thursday or Friday - I honestly can't remember which.  Aside from school this is the first time I've opened a web browser since I got off work on Friday.  I managed another 100% assignment so my grade for both classes is back up to an A+ but it's just going to keep getting harder.  I get a two-week break for Christmas, hopefully I'll be able to use that well.

I'm burned out on blogging - I'll be honest about it.  It's becoming repetitive and starting to feel more like a daily chore than the fun, motivational experience that it used to be.  I think I'm just over-stressed.


  1. Take some time off. If it's a chore, you need to get away from it for a while or just post once a week. People understand. Best of luck finishing up the course work. Don't heap guilt trips on yourself. Do what you have to do.

  2. What with school, dogs and the stress this time of year brings it's no worried your stressed!!!
    Hopefully once school is finished your stress will be less and you have your blogging mojo back in no time :)

  3. the harsh truth is, the longer you make excuses (even valid ones) the longer you will remain overweight. There has to be some time you can set aside in your day to exercise. even if your waking up 30mins early or stayin up 30mins later. you may in your mind think you are skipping exercise for valid reasons, but it honestly seems like you are ready to give up. you cant say that you are busy 24/7 because we both know that isnt true. dont make excuses.. not trying 2 be rude at all, but you have done so good this long you cant stop now. just think if you go hard these last 4 months of school you could lose 40lbs if you really try. 10 lbs a month at your weight is perfectly atainable if done right and consecuitive. you will feel so much better in 4 months being 40lbs less than if you make excuses and are still 226lbs or even more!

  4. True. Adding stress to stress won't help anything. And downing your entries to once or twice a week might be a good thing.

    (Though--it probably needs to go without saying--it's recommended you keep recording your calories and work outs for yourself.)

    Whatever you choose. You are doing awesome even in the stress.

  5. You *ARE* stressed -- welcome to the life of a CS student! :P

    I warned you it would be hard.
    But, more importantly, you are improving yourself -- and I *KNOW* you can successfully complete the program and be an awesome CS'er!

    Stick with it.
    Dump what is less important; but retain the lessons you learned along the way.

    Back in the 70s Apple sat down and wrote 3 "goals" that would shape their future course of action; in a nutshell:

    1) Our main goal will be to understand better than anyone else our customer's needs

    2) In order to achieve our main goal, we will dump any project that isn't critical to point #1

    3) We will "project" our ability to achieve point #1 in everything we do.

    Right now, your #1 (IMHO) should be to earn your BS in CS. If you have to dump other stuff (stuff that's important, but less so at this time in your life) in order to focus, do it.

    Now that doesn't mean go back to eating burgers and sitting on the TV.

    NO NO NO.

    These months were about *LIFESTYLE* change.
    KEEP THE CHANGE, just dump the tools you used to help you make the change.

    Stick with more fruits/veggies and lean meats.
    Keep doing your best to fit exercise in when and where you can.
    Don't focus on the # on your scale; focus on the number on your latest exam.
    But keep healthy food going in, exercise going out as best as you can, and let go and let nature handle things as best as it can.

    You might go up some.
    Or you might go down some.
    Or you might stay the same.

    Don't worry about it (for now).
    Just make sure you aren't sabotaging yourself by returning to your old bad habits.

    Go earn your degree! And do it knowing you are a ton healthier today than you were a year ago. And do it realizing some day in the future you'll probably need/want to return to this phase of your life and strive to make more progress.

    You can't achieve everything you want all at once in life. But that's why it's a life and not a day -- bite of the pieces you can do today, and try your best to not slide backwards.